June 2nd—2011
Dear Walt,

Remember last night when Matt put petrol in the diesel tank and our car broke down? It was hell. I bet you think so too but I thought I’d ask. We were stuck on the M26 for literally 8 hours. Do you remember that country road that we walked up and down so many times, and then pushed the car up and down so many times? Man, I never thought I would have spent so much time on that road. Do you remember when it was pitch black and we thought an animal was going to attack us? I was hoping it would attack you first. I guess I thought when I found that Sainsbury’s and called that “Dr.Fuel” guy that we were gonna be alright. Do you remember when we walked back there about five hours later and everything was closed and dark and those strange teenagers were eyeing us in the parking lot and those girls were honking at us with that weird clown horn? I think I heard them in the woods around 3am. They were giggling and probably having some kind of teenage drinking party. Remember when we did rock, paper, scissors to see which of us got to go in that cab that showed up at 3:30am (7 and a half hours after the car had died) and which of us had to continue to stay with the car? Man! Demetri sure couldn’t fix our car huh? I wonder what his little kid thought the whole time, sitting on the side of the highway. That sure sucked for him. I was really happy when “Murder” showed up (I guess Matt realized his name was Mert-o or Murtah later but Murder is a little more exciting sounding). Remember how he wore his pants and you could see his whole butt? I really thought he was gonna fix that thing. He was so confident. I mean wow. That whole scene really really sucked. It was probably at least the third worst schmozzle in the last ten years. But you know what they say: L-I-F-E-G-O-E-S-O-N or at least that’s what that cheesy band at glastonbury was singing about on the TV. Do you think that band is American? I mean it seemed so foreign. Do you think they actually speak English or do they just write their songs in English and are actually from Uzbekistan or something? Maybe we should write a song spelling out words like that and we’ll finally get paid for this crap. Anyhow, Murder still really saved our asses. He was a great dude. I’m glad he drank that bottle of whiskey we gave him. I hope he gave Demetri the vodka but I think he kept it for himself. Man, that rental car sure looked like it had been vandalized when we returned it. That was hell. It’s like you think you are finally about to make it through totally intact and then it just has to go and flip the damn script on you.